Adapting to Motherhood
Adjusting to life after baby is no cakewalk
This is for all the mothers who are happy to be a mother but also very tired. One of my favorite statements is, “two things can be true at once.” It’s an expression of our humanness and multi-dimensionality. Society paints this picture that motherhood is our birthright and that we should always find joy. It’s a beautiful process, yet it requires a complete shift in your daily life. Motherhood is simply not an easy adjustment.
I’ve witnessed many first-time moms discuss how endlessly tired they feel especially in the early stages. Mainly because the physical demands it takes to keep your tiny human alive. Their bodies still don’t belong to them even though baby is no longer renting space.
It’s not just the feelings of fatigue that are wearisome, though. Mothers must also adapt to the post-baby body, which includes the development of milk, scars/stretch marks, and excess weight that sometimes doesn’t quickly disappear.
There are sometimes feelings of sadness about your birth experience not going as planned and the lack of support because the focus is now on your little one. In The Postpartum Depression Workbook by Abigail Burd, she describes, “everyone says that all that matters is a healthy baby, but I’m not okay with it. You are entitled to grieve the loss of the birth you wanted or expected.”
So, some things to remember:
- First it is important to note that all your feelings are valid.
- The baby stage is the shortest stage of your son or daughter’s life. It’s okay to be tired and cherish them at this stage.
- You are NOT a machine. Let your support system help you; if you don’t have one seek out programs to meet your needs. Don’t do this alone.
- Don’t rush the process.
- Allow yourself to just be. We’re all figuring something out.
- Give yourself grace.
These reminders are not meant to make your experience better magically. However, it is essential to understand that you’re just as human as anybody else despite themes of motherhood giving you superpowers. Good luck on your journey!